Net Givers vs Net Takers: What Are You? – Episode 529 

This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors.

[00:01] Welcome to the Prosperity Podcast. Prosperity thinkers, welcome to the podcast. This episode is one that I’ve talked about with Kim and we are both excited to dive into because we’re going to get inside the minds of givers and takers. It’s billionaires and millionaires, how they think. And I think you’re going to be surprised by the results. Sound like a plan? I love it. Yes. It will be a plan. It will be a strategy. Oh, again. Okay. I like that. You know what? That’s actually really important because even though I have made an effort, it still slips through that. I’ll use the word like plan versus strategy or things like that. And through my mouth too. I know that I do make an effort and I think that’s more or less.

[00:54] This is how it works and we continue to make progress. So here we go. The framework of this and the study came from a Twitter post. It’s from a guy named Patrick Campbell. To give context, Patrick has owned a data analytics company in the past. So data is absolutely top priority for him. And he had a conversation with those 18 millionaires and six billionaires. And he found that net takers need 51% of value from interactions, need what’s in it for them and the relationships equal a series of single moves. So that’s the takers. What did you think of that? Wow. Yeah. Just right off the bat. That’s so interesting, particularly the last one. I mean, we would sort of assume that they would always be looking for greater than

[01:50] 50 and the what’s in it for them. However, it’s that last thing that I think is so interesting because we always want to be thinking about longevity. And that’s not an easy thing. We were gone for a week and I had a local high school kid come take care of the alpacas and such because Todd’s dad wasn’t able to. And there was so much evidence of short-term thinking in the barn. Like just the wire on the bales had been like shoved in a bag. So it’s poking out. It’s dangerous. It’s not sustainable because we need the bag for other things. You can’t just shove the wire in there. You have to sort of be neat with it and other things like that. So here you have guys where money isn’t probably the real issue, but they’re thinking

[02:37] is causing, oh my gosh, the worst inefficiency in the world. One time deals. That’s really surprising. Yeah, absolutely. I see that happen. And if we think about it, there’s a direct correlation to the way that the call it Main Street media talks because they have conversation about let’s raise the minimum wage that there is like the very bottom of single moves. Yes. That then has a ripple effect that can be so unthought about and so potentially disastrous. Absolutely. So before we jump to the net givers, I’ve got a question for you. When you’re talking with clients, I imagine you’re listening to the language that they’re using and there’s a lot of call it clustering of words, meaning some people are going

[03:38] to be talking about what’s in it for them for the next year, whereas others will be talking about what’s in it for the next decade. And then we have others of the next century. So unpack that for us for a moment. Well, so worded by you to pull out that third element, because one of the things that I’m so grateful about is there’s two parts to it. Realizing that words like generational wealth, perpetual wealth, the name of our book will literally have people call and say, I’m interested in implementing some of the perpetual wealth ideas. That’s clearly a century oriented thinker. Life insurance companies think in century oriented terms. And the other part of the thing that has been interesting for me that’s directly

[04:27] related is how marketing has started to shift from focusing on demographics, which are ages, geographically located people, et cetera, et cetera, to psychographics, which are more about their values, the words that they use, the time frames that they think about. And I’ve always been so grateful to attract a particular psychographic. I’ve not ever had common demographics. I have a very wide range of client. I can talk to a 20 year old earning thirty five thousand a year. And on the very next phone call, talk to somebody that’s ten times that in terms of income, irrelevant, the age. I have ages all the way up into their 80s. And it’s always so interesting to me to listen to the language and be able to

[05:23] very quickly identify who is a good client for me to help because of their time preference. OK, so you’re you’re not just looking at the call surface level pieces, you’re taking the entire recipe and pulling that in. Yes, yeah, all all of the pieces and the parts and their desire to help not only themselves, but the next generation and the next generation. And for some, the fourth generation. OK, so let’s shift over to the net givers. And I, you know, we’ve already touched on many of these things because that’s the language that you’re speaking. But we’re going to we’re actually going to put the stamp on that. So the net givers, he mentioned three core pieces. They give excess value. They seldom state what’s in it for them.

[06:16] They already know that. And then they have relationship moves. So it’s a multiple moves. So you agree with those things or disagree? I absolutely agree with them. And I want to layer in something that I picked up recently from a speaker. So, you know, it’s interesting as a experienced adult, 30 years in the business, how many speakers I’ve listened to, you know, I attend strategic coach, I go to industry conferences, I go to unrelated conferences from time to time, you know, for various reasons. And you can always, always pick up a few things, many of which I discard. In other words, I’m picking up things not to do. Nevertheless, every now and then a sentence just really pops off the table.

[07:04] And this was at a conference and I don’t even remember the speaker. But the line was advice is just like information. Leadership is about transformation and how if you relate that back to these people that are about the relationships that they are building, which typically are going to be sequential transactions, which then often lead to transformation. And I love it because I do not give financial advice very specifically. I do not have the license to give financial advice. I do not want that. I do not live in that space. Nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoy coming alongside our clients and being a guide and being a leader for them, a thought leader, a financial leader. And so I’m picking up that that’s how the net givers are operating.

[08:09] It sounds to me like in every aspect of their lives. Yeah, absolutely. If we study history, even when you were talking about this leadership, the first person that came to my mind and it’s probably because I enjoy history was George Washington. We’ve got this moment where the world’s against him and he was able to help people see a vision that they couldn’t. He was that leadership. So let’s take this and unpack a couple of things because it’s actually really critical. So there was 18 millionaires, six billionaires. We’ve both interacted with billionaires. We’ve both interacted with millionaires. We know what it’s like. So that’s 24 people of this study. So how many do you think of the 24? So of the richest.

[09:01] So I’m just going to spill the beans because we’ll just instead of guessing. Here we go. The 13 richest were net givers, 13. So basically we went through that and said, OK, the 13 richest of you, they were wired as net givers. Have you seen the same with your client base, with friends and with thinking in that way? It’s interesting, I think. So what percent is that? Like 51 or 55 or 60, something like that. I’m surprised, frankly, that it’s that low. And I’m so blessed because both in the community that I helped that I would call clients of prosperity thinkers who are typically the listeners to this podcast, but also in the community of my husband’s and mine that I helped that are whole life friendly, human life value oriented life insurance

[09:57] agents and advisors, we really get the cream of the crop. And so I would say more like 70 percent or 80 percent of the people that I interact with are a net giver. And what that means is that when somebody is a net taker, they stand out like a sore thumb and it becomes evident quite quickly, their mode of operation. Absolutely. You know that that falls in line, which here it says the second richest person summed it up well. Here’s the quote says, It cost me nothing to help or introduce you. But one favor from you could make me a lot. Closed quote. Interesting. Yeah, that’s like a smile costs you nothing. So give it right. Absolutely. So there are counterintuitive things that the wealthiest those top wealthy

[11:02] bracket that are the net givers do. Let’s dive into them. They always try to provide more value than they receive with their closest network. So that’s three to five people. I’m going to list four of the things that they do. And then I would love to hear from you what are some of the things that you see happen in your community. So those four things is that one, they make intros to they’re doing custom work. So their specialized skill of something, three forwarding deals and four lending planes and money. So when I think of this, I immediately thought of like Peter Diamandis, you know, you’re associated with Peter and Peter’s always making intros because Peter’s out and he’s saying, Oh, here’s an intro on longevity.

[11:53] Here’s an intro on artificial intelligence. And Peter has this mind where he has specialized in his medical knowledge, his artificial intelligence, knowledge, technology, all of these pieces come together. So have you seen similarities in your network as well? That is just amazing. I love those four things. And all of us can do that even if we don’t have a plane to lend, we can be involved in lending time and effort and knowledge and energy. So it’s interesting when I think about even something as simple as gratitude, because that is a way to introduce, that’s a way of being some of my busiest clients that are often they tend to be physicians are so gracious and so respectful of my time, our team’s time.

[12:56] And that’s something that I pay attention to very closely because there’s occasions when somebody will be gracious, helpful, respectful to me, but they will not be that way to our team. And I have about negative three patients with that. That person is one foot out the door. Like it, you know, it happens. We all have bad days. I’ll happily forgive one time. But if I hear that that is a repetitive problem, I have no interest in that person continuing with us because I’m not going to be OK with how they treat our team. So the giving of value first, that has been a Dan Sullivan strategic coach arena since I started with him, which is 1994, I believe. And so coming up on attending every single quarter for 30

[13:51] years. And that’s been his message all along is to give first, to give value first. And when you do that, sometimes you may never know where the boomerang is. I’m not going to say the payback, right. But where the boomerang is, because it may just go on forward and it may be something completely unrelated sometimes months or years down the road that that comes back. So it’s really cool to hear those four things say them again of what the Twitter thread identified were the four main things that the net givers did. So those pieces are intros, doing custom work, forwarding deals and lending planes and money. Well, let’s talk one more moment about the intros, because one of the things that I have had a habit of

[14:53] for a long, long time is when making an introduction to make sure that it goes both ways. In other words, if I’m introducing you to Gary, I email both you and Gary, because what we don’t know, if I just if let’s say Gary said he wanted a podcast, if I gave Gary Spencer’s information, but I didn’t let Spencer know that I’d given him Gary’s information. First of all, Gary could get lost in the shuffle if Spencer didn’t have a really solid way of intake, which it’s super easy to miss an email or fill in the blank, not ever get it. You know how that kind of thing can happen. And so by introducing both ways, one, I’ve gotten it. And this is counterintuitive, right? Because my reason for introducing

[15:41] is not to get the credit. But the fact is, by introducing both ways, I get the credit. And that’s important. But more importantly, I should say, and more importantly, Spencer knows who Gary is. And of course, Gary now knows who Spencer is. And so when Gary gets on Spencer’s calendar or shows up in his email box, Spencer knows Gary a little bit of extra love, even if that never goes anywhere because of that intro. Yeah, that is so valuable. And I take these pieces in our conversation and one of the additional layers I want to stack on this that wasn’t written in here, but we’re going to take a snapshot of your business. You’ve been doing this for decades. You’ve put out the value, meaning podcast, blog posts,

[16:34] speaking, helping, doing good work. And then you’ve layered on these other pieces. You’ve built up a, we’ll call it an account of value that’s gone out there. And so now what’s happened as we do this, that value continues to get more and more interest. And it’s got the longevity piece to it. You’re not just in it for tomorrow or today. And what’s really interesting is now your team and the people you associate with, they get to use or leverage some of that value as well, just like the life insurance. It’s a company that’s set up. They’ve thought for decades and decades, and they said, well, okay, beyond decades, now we’re in this in the centuries. And here is a way for the people that are using it

[17:30] to be able to leverage. So not only are they participants, but they get to use. So I’m drawing that similarity there. Yeah, it’s a great additional one because the life insurance companies, the mutual life insurance companies are so unique in today’s marketplace in terms of how they were owned, the decisions that they make, the time preference that they have. And it’s a absolute gift to introduce that to other people because so many people are not even aware of the distinction. Yeah. So what I’ll do, I’ll put a link to this Twitter post in the show notes. There’s another thing called the net giving pyramid. And it talks about value bombing and other cool stuff. So you’ll definitely want to check it out.

[18:17] Listeners, thank you for one, being a part of the prosperity community. That’s just showing up and listening and on the podcast is huge. For anyone that you feel that is a part of your community of the same values, but they’re not listening to the show, hit that share button, let them know about it. You can tweet it to a friend, you can share it on Spotify or wherever that may be. That way more people can know that this is your group of people and we’re happy to teach and happy to share. Thank you for listening to the Prosperity Podcast. To take control of your money and have it work for you, visit ProsperityThinkers.com.