Creating a Family Board / Council – Episode 435

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[00:00] Hello, Prosperity Thinkers. Welcome to the podcast. We’re going to be talking about creating a family board. Now hold up. You don’t have to be the Vanderbilts in a snobby castle to make this happen. This can actually work for newlyweds even if you want. So Kim, welcome to the episode. We’re going to dive into some fun topics. It’s always a joy to talk about talking about money with our family. And that’s really all the quote family board is. And I was digging around trying to find our book and the perpetual wealth idea. And there’s a specific chapter, which I’ll grab and at a minimum we’ll put in the show notes about the creation of a family board and different ways that you can go about it. I think the most important aspect of it though, is that everybody feels

[00:56] like they have a say. And this is all the way down to the like four and five year olds. You know, I mean, at some point they’re just truly too young. But as a simple example of just including family, I love that my dad did a few Christmases ago. He gave all the kids $100 and said 50 of it is for you and 50 of it is for you to donate somewhere. And the only requirement I have is that you share with everybody where you donated the money. And so we don’t have a formal family board, but we make sure that our whole family is involved in a financial discussion at least once or twice a year. And of course, there’s individual families as well. And we’re doing everything that we can to make sure that our family has the knowledge of

[01:55] the board. So the family board is not necessarily the formal roles that you would think about in my mind, although it could be. It’s more about knowledge and discussions and learning and making money a normal part of every time that we’re together, whether it’s on a Zoom call or on vacation or whatever it is, because there’s so much wisdom. And that’s really the beauty of a board is it’s more than one mind. It’s more than one individual sharing their knowledge. It’s a culmination of a bunch of people sharing their knowledge. Absolutely. And let me guess, not everyone has the same thoughts, feelings and opinions. Definitely not. And that’s where the learning comes in, because then discussions can ensue that help others learn and form their own thoughts,

[02:53] because sometimes it’s more of a Oh, well, I hadn’t really thought about that. And so sometimes you’re bringing up things that nobody’s even conscious of or aware of. Yeah, you know, the thing with a family board and probably the reason why I’ve seen that people don’t do it. And people could argue and say, well, I just don’t know how. And, you know, I don’t know if I really agree with that. Because if it’s something that you want, you’ll figure out how even if it’s ugly in the process. You know, there’s this little thing called Google, which is so handy. And even YouTube probably has some great videos about people that have created either family boards or family councils is another word that I like that

[03:45] might fit some families better if you don’t feel like you want it as formal. And by the way, we are creating a workbook to go with our perpetual wealth book. So many of our listeners know we have a hardback book called perpetual wealth. And it’s all about the family dynamics of moving wealth, not just money, from generation to generation. And then we’re creating a workbook that will go with that that will be valuable. And I’m hoping hoping that that’s out by the holidays. I don’t know whether it will be or not. But what I am more confident about being out and I’m hoping for Thanksgiving on this is a family card game that will give you some ideas about the creation of a board or a council and

[04:35] give you some ideas about communicating about money because so many families truly don’t know where to start. And I think one of the biggest reasons they don’t know where to start is some weird thing in our society that says it’s not not appropriate to talk about money. Well, I strongly disagree with that. How on earth are our next generation, our kids and grandkids, and great grandchildren for some of our clients, supposed to pick up knowledge, if we don’t talk about it. So, to me, that’s one of the most important things. And there’s other games out there like Robert Kiyosaki’s cash flow game that are super beneficial about just generating a discussion. And then, in addition to that, as you progress and take it to deeper levels and

[05:26] have more conversations, there’s wisdom that gets past both directions. You know, it’s not just the older generation sharing wisdom with the younger generation because maybe the younger generation, as an example, has picked up blockchain knowledge or cryptocurrency knowledge that they can share with the older generation. I mean, what an awesome dinnertime discussion as opposed to, oh, let’s talk about the last movie that we saw. Yes, absolutely. You know, you mentioned that families need to be having those conversations about finance and about how they think. And it doesn’t matter how much money your family has. It doesn’t matter about the makeup of your family. Are you a traditional family or do you have something that doesn’t look traditional?

[06:17] Regardless of what it is, having these conversations makes such an impact on the younger generation. But the things that the younger generation says will impact the older generation is kind of reminds me, my daughter had talked with my in-laws, and they recently retired. And she goes, Well, Grandpa, how do you guys make money and live right now? I love it. You know, like that’s a, you know, some people think that’s a bold question. And it made him think about it. And then he had to articulate it in the most simple terms to explain to her. And if you can’t articulate it in simple terms, then you probably don’t understand it. So everyone benefited from that. That is fabulous. One of the things that I want to share in

[07:09] this space is the challenge that us adults have when we feel like we’ve made mistakes. And possibly that, you know, some mistake, either not saving enough money, or maybe investing something where we lost money or having a period of unemployment, which caused us to have to spend all our savings or whatever. I mean, it could be way worse. There could be bankruptcies and short sales of real estate and all kinds of things, you know, credit card problems, et cetera, et cetera. It’s the mistakes that we learn from and it’s the mistakes that we can help the next generation avoid. So rather than being embarrassed and keeping it behind the scenes, having the faith to share and know that you’re loved and that the mistake

[07:58] was a mistake. It doesn’t necessarily mean you made a major, major error. It might’ve been. And even if that’s the case, but so often a lot of this stuff is not in our control. And so having the faith to share the mistake and the wisdom that you gained from it is potentially more valuable than to share some quote, when that you had with your money and the learning that happened from that. I mean, both things are good, but I just really want to encourage people to not be afraid of sharing their mistakes. You will endear your family to you more. They will have more respect for you than if you continue to sort of perpetuate this, what could potentially be a facade of I’m the parent and I know everything

[08:51] and I did it all right. Yes, you know, here’s something I thought of because I’m actually writing down a few thoughts as we speak. And we did a previous episode on OPM, which is other people’s money as they’re told. And we changed some of the language of saying other people’s minds. And I want to borrow that thread of OPM on this episode. And when you have your family board, your family council, you’re going to learn from other people’s mistakes. You’ve got that OPM. That’s fabulous. And if you think about it, learning from others mistakes is the best toll road that you can take. It’s the fast track because you don’t have to go through that. And so how wonderful, Kim, that you thought of and

[09:44] framed it in that way. Well, that is a great use of the OPM acronym. And I’m sure we’ll have fun thinking of some other M words that need to go with it. But yes, that is absolutely the most valuable thing is to be able to learn from other people’s mistakes. And of course, be able to learn from your own as well. And then too, I want to circle back to your daughter’s questioning of her grandparents and how cool it was. And this is something we can all learn from that a under 10 year old, as an example, has the guts. And it’s personal because she doesn’t know any better. But this is what we can learn from to ask the question. And then, like you said, how valuable it is to be the person that has to put forth the answer,

[10:35] because if you can’t, then you probably don’t know it well enough yourself. And that is something that happens to all of us. And gosh, it just enables our brains to get turned on. And that’s the whole message of prosperity thinkers is to just make sure that your brain is turned on and that you’re alive and thinking and deeply thinking. And then as Dan Sullivan says, even thinking about your thinking, because sometimes, as we know, thoughts pop into our head and we should let them go. And then other times, thoughts pop into our head and we should actually think about them a bit. What an episode. You know, that thinking about thinking and the way that we all can collaborate is so valuable. I have a quote that I keep on my phone.

[11:25] I have a little resource tab. And this quote says, and let me actually grab it so I’m saying it correctly. It says, if you cannot teach it, you have not achieved mastery. And I can’t think of a better place. To see if you can teach it properly than your family council. Right. What a great place to practice and start. And who knows, you know, maybe you create something from that. And this reminds me, too, of a discussion that you and I were having offline about the importance of words, because the first time you teach something, you’re not going to get all the words right. Like, you know, unless you’re a super prepare-oriented person. I know I’m not a prepare-oriented person. It’s why the podcasting works well, right?

[12:16] Turn on the microphone and start talking. So for those that are like that, you’re not going to get it right the first time. And I want to share an example of an aspect of words that I’ve been working on that is a good example of exactly what we’ve been talking about. So here’s a mistake that I’ve made that I can now share verbally that I can learn from and do better with next time. And it’s using the term, I don’t care. And so I just worked on this this last week. I don’t know why, but for some reason there were a lot of decisions to be being made. We were on a family trip and having fun doing a lot of different things. And like I said, a lot of decisions had to be made. And so questions would get asked, you

[13:01] know, here or there, you know, left or right, you know, not directions. I guess that’s not a good example. But the the answer I don’t care is not helpful. Number one, that’s not accurate. I absolutely care. I may have no preference. And so that’s what I did in terms of shifting my words. But additionally, there are times when a preference needs to be stated. Like it’s a pain if you as a group are trying to get something done, trying to get some decisions made and nobody will state their preferences. And so actually, Tammy Brandon, Blueprint Process, my sister, who you know so well, Spencer, she and I had some time together about a month ago. And we said to each other, like, we’re not going to do that.

[13:51] If we have a preference, we’re going to say it. And that way that helps get the decision made. Absolutely it does. You know, if we look at life, like the game of bowling, the sport of it, you know, it’s a lot like having kids. You really want to put the bumpers up and then let them play. And those bumpers are going to say, oh, wait, here’s this boundary. Here’s that boundary. And the same thing happens with us. And when we say I don’t care, well, it’s like putting a little kid on a bowling alley without any bumpers. They’re going to go straight into the gutter. We put up those bumpers and we say, no, I might not have a preference. Or if you do listing it out and you get down the alley, it goes to where you want.

[14:35] Really well said. It’s so fun to be able to just learn and listen and make mistakes. And sometimes a couple steps backward and then one forward again. And if we go through life with that mentality, it’s a lot happier experience. Whereas if we’re just afraid because we feel like we have to be perfect, then I don’t think that’s a happy experience. No, absolutely not. So for you listeners, one thing that you can do if we make this episode action oriented is to start the family council. And that’s probably going to start with just a simple conversation. And then, Kim, you mentioned later on you will have additional tools and resources, a family card game. There’ll be more of a work along that will be with it.

[15:26] And then, yes, the perpetual wealth book. Taking those first steps towards it are not going to be pretty or perfect, but it’s action. Love the idea of action and baby steps. That’s where we get the results. Absolutely. Listeners, thank you for being on this podcast, taking your time and investing in this and improving your prosperity thinking with us. Thank you for listening to the Prosperity Podcast. To take control of your money and have it work for you, visit us at partnersforprosperity.com. If you liked this episode, make sure you subscribe and leave a review.