Do You Have a NOT To Do List? – Episode 391

This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors.

[00:01] Hello partners, we’re gonna be talking about your not to-do list and because the new year is starting out, most of us have a to-do list and we have something that we’re working on. We should be focusing on things that we’re not going to do. I want to hear what you have planned out, Kim, and I’m gonna take notes. I love the concept of not to-do list. I don’t remember where I heard it, but it’s definitely floating around quite a bit these days. And I think it’s so, so valuable because so often we do end up with these long, long to-do lists and I have many of them. And yet it’s also super critical to be conscious of what we’re choosing not to do. And it might be in the category of listening. So as an example, I choose not to listen

[00:48] to news. It’s not what I want in my head. I’m also very careful about any kind of audio input that is going on. I don’t want to listen to complaining. I don’t want to listen to people that are in victim mode. And so I will extricate myself from conversations that pertain to that. So that’s on my not to-do list. I also think it’s really important to be clear what I will not eat or drink. And so I have things that are on my not to consume list in the physical sense. For me, personally, I don’t want to drink alcohol. I make no judgment about those that do. There’s certainly people in my family that do. But for me, it’s not even a question anymore. It’s on my not to have list. I think also there’s a whole litany of food things that

[01:40] I choose not to have that are not as relevant for our discussion. I think also around money. Like what do I not want to invest in? Well, I’m very clear for myself that I don’t want to invest in the stock market. I consider it speculation and not an investment. And I’m not interested in it. And I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to read about it. So it’s not a part of my life. I’m not blind to it. But for me, I choose not to have that as a part of my experience. There’s a few others I can cover, but let’s throw it back your way. I know you’ve got some on your not to do list. I do. So for me, I actually frame it in the term of anti-goals. And so I work from that way,

[02:24] because sometimes when I’m working towards something or I want, it can be a little too vague. Like, oh, what do I really want? And that process can cause me to meander a little too long. So my not to dos happens to be a lot with the work that I do. So I own a couple of different companies. And so the top priority is I do not want something that is going to waste my time. But what that really comes down to is I don’t want to be around people that won’t take responsibility. Because ultimately anything that I’m trying to do, I realize it’s going to be greater than me. And so that means that I have to always find someone to replace myself. So I’m not going to work with anyone that can’t replace me. I don’t want victims. So you and

[03:09] I are in the same in that category. The other not to dos happens to be with my health. So if I have the chance to take the escalator or the stairs, I’m going to take the stairs. It just feels better. I feel great doing that. Also, when I am working myself with my family, if I have the choice to be spending time with family or spending time with friends, when it’s family time, it’s family time. When it’s friend time, it’s friend time. And I’m not going to bleed those two because too often, and I grew up in an environment where it was always work time. And it was always a gray zone. And it never really worked properly. And so I want to make sure that my children understand that there’s a wonderful time to

[03:57] play a wonderful time to work. But we got to be really clear on our communication. I love the idea of time blocking. And so I would add that a not to do for me is to mix the aspects of my life. And of course, sometimes it’s completely appropriate to do that. For example, if I go to an event, it is clearly some professional, some personal, and maybe even some free time. But I believe 100% that my family relationships are better because when I’m on free days, Dan Sullivan’s entrepreneurial time system, I am completely dedicated to whatever free activity is going on. And if there are friends here, or it’s family time, or it’s just Kim time, then that’s what I’m doing. And I also then separate out inside

[04:46] the business world, what Dan Sullivan calls as focus time and buffer time. And I do not mix those either. So focus time is when I’m helping clients and I’m one on one with them on the phone, or I’m preparing videos or this podcast or anything like that, that is more of a one to many environment. And then buffer time is when I’m writing or preparing or wrapping up or learning from an experience that is not directly related to the business at hand. And I find that those are two very, very different skill sets. And so I am not going to mix them because I have mixed them in past aspects of my life and it never goes very well. So I’m very almost Nazi-ish around the calendar control and the not mixing of the time blocks

[05:38] that I have chosen to operate with. And again, there’s always exceptions for that kind of thing and I mess it up too, but it’s so beneficial to me. And then I have one more not to do that I would like to share and that is more around not necessarily setting goals. So I used to be a very big goal setter and I would work with the acronyms, smart goals, specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and with a timeframe and always wrote them down and always had all those little five components of goals. And over the last five or 10 years, I’ve just been more and more about a vision. And so for me, a goal is actually limiting because what if I could have done more than that? And so I prefer to have vision

[06:22] and I love at the beginning of a year or the beginning of a quarter or even the beginning of a month or a day getting clear on what my vision is for that day, which is not a goal. It is not specific at all. Sometimes it’s very, very fuzzy. And obviously the longer term visions are even more fuzzier. It is so specific. It’s not specific, measurable. It may or may not be measurable. It is potentially achievable, but sometimes visions are not achievable. And sometimes you have to shift. Sometimes they’re absolutely realistic and other times they’re not realistic at all. And then like I said, they may have a timeframe associated with them, but not in a environment that will get me into the gap, which is

[07:06] another Dan Sullivan’s strategic coach concept of being totally frustrated and mad that I didn’t achieve my goal because I find if I set a vision for the day or the event or the time or even the year, which of course then has lots of visions, then I can be so much better mentally because I’m always in a state of working towards the vision or learning from what didn’t work as I worked towards the vision rather than being frustrated and even potentially depressed or despotic about not achieving a goal. So setting goals is on my not to do list. You know, you added one hidden element to not setting goals. It’s actually really insightful, which is if you are leading by vision, you’re opening the door to collaboration,

[07:57] to others helping you out. And when we work that way, we can get a result that is far greater than we ever anticipated. And in some cases, even easier, faster to achieve, because when we work just from our own timeframe, then we’re limited to that current belief. Yep. And we’re shutting down serendipity. Yes, absolutely. So for your listeners, this may be the time for you to set a not to do list to think about the things that you don’t want to do. We’ve seen it in movies where a person draws a line in the sand and they say, this is something I’m not going to do. Well, I think we can all do that and especially coming up new times of year. And again, this could be something you hear in June. That could be a new time of year for you

[08:45] because you woke up in the day, a new day, a new life that you can breathe. We are starting to in the podcast with a question, which is what can you do about it? So is there a piece of advice that you would give to our listeners of what they can do? Absolutely. Let’s create that not to do list. And maybe it’s as literal as some of your to do lists so that you too can benefit from taking some of the things off the table. I think our lives have gotten too busy. I’m guilty of it as well. And saying no to something is just as valuable as all the things that you say yes to listeners. Thank you for being with us today. If this podcast is something that’s brightening your life, that’s helping you out. One of the things that you

[09:31] can do is make sure that you’re subscribed to the podcast. So if you’re listening on Spotify, Apple or wherever it is, then we would love for you to subscribe so that you can continue to get messages like this. And you’ll notice every single message that we’re 300 plus deep, every message is here to help you live a more prosperous life. Thank you for listening to the Prosperity Podcast. To take control of your money and have it work for you, visit us at partnersforprosperity.com. If you liked this episode, make sure you subscribe and leave a review.