Collaboration – Episode 501  

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[00:01] Welcome to the Prosperity Podcast. Prosperity thinkers, welcome to the podcast. In this episode, we’re going to be talking about collaboration and some surprising benefits that come from it. Kim, welcome to the show. Well, thank you, Spencer. Before you even tell us some of your surprises, I have the unbelievable, always-on Dan Sullivan, who is in my head constantly because he is my coach and mentor that I listen to, who has talked for years about the importance of collaboration, how much more valuable it is than competition, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So I love the word, and I’m glad we’re getting to talk about it. Perfect. Okay. So here is how I’m going to use the example of collaboration

[00:50] because I taught it to my kids, and I didn’t intentionally teach it to them, and that’s when it’s always like the best, when they’re like, oh, I learned this, Dad, and then I’ve learned to sit back long enough and to be quiet so that it looks like I’m wise. But at some point, they’ll listen to this and be like, oh, Dad was kind of wise at times and he was lucky as well. We purchased the board game Cash Flow because the kids are now a little bit older so they can handle it, and we are playing Cash Flow, and they drew a card for a big deal, and my son that didn’t have enough money to do the big deal didn’t want to toss the card, and so I said, you guys can do an option. It was an option, Dad, so we talked about options,

[01:39] and that’s when they learned how to collaborate and where we should say corroborate. I don’t know what it would be, but like the couple of them started working together against someone else, and now they understood that, wait, I can make money from just an option, a contract? Like I didn’t have to buy it? How else does this work in life, Dad? And so a collaboration works in many ways like that. It’s finding a problem and being able to solve that problem for someone else, and it may require time, it may require money, it may require skills, but it’s often going to happen because we put ourselves in the right situation at the right time, and we are ready for it. So I would love to hear about collaboration

[02:32] from your perspective and from the Dan Sullivan perspective as well. Well, as we’ve talked in previous podcasts, who you know is so valuable and who you take care of, who is in your close inner circle that you would be comfortable collaborating with, because of course, that’s not everybody. And the fact that we can give first in areas of collaboration is so, so helpful. And Spencer, just using you and I as an example, I mean, there’s been a ton of ways that your family has really given to us, and there’s been a ton of ways, I hope, that our family has really given to you, and it just is your classic when times three, because it’s, in fact, it might even be like when times 11. You know, the old saying one plus one equals two,

[03:27] well, oh, you know, let’s combine, and we’ll make it one plus one equals three. Well, if you look at the one and the one next to each other, that’s actually 11, and it’s exponential impact that that number 11 is describing, because of the goodness that two heads are better than one, of the goodness that your contacts can now become my contacts when appropriate for the right situation, when give first is put in play. Now, contrast that to I call you up and say, hey, can I pick your brain? Hey, can I steal an hour of your time? Notice the words, it’s like literal, right? And that is a different approach that is not going to get somebody the value of collaboration, the value of putting two heads together

[04:20] and elevating or exponentially impacting the capabilities there. And it’s just so interesting, I watch all the young adults that we have in our lives and how valuable the time is between 22, you know, general out of school age, whether they went to school or not, and 30, and so many of them are just like, I’ll deal with that later, you know, I’ll deal with that when I’m a real adult, age 30. And yet there are others that are giving first and learning and have their brains on and even making use of like a super basic job. You know, I think of the waiter that we had the other night at this fairly nice restaurant. I mean, that guy was knocking it out of the park. And then we watched other waiters

[05:10] that were asleep on their feet. So here’s a guy in a fairly nice restaurant. He could be meeting his next employer at every single seating. But if he’s not treating it like that, he’s never gonna know that they might be interested in employing anybody. So it’s just fun to watch what collaboration can do. Absolutely. You know, you mentioned that sweet spot of that 22 to 30 year old. And it’s almost as though you have like a barometer to be able to tell if they’re hot or cold in the way that they are collaborating and contributing. So maybe what we can do is dissect a few of these things. And yes, we’re using that sweet spot range of 22 to 30, but we can say, hey, if you’re younger, here’s some skills.

[06:01] And if you’re older, then here are some skills to learn. So let’s go through that for a moment. What does that look like for you as you’re, you know, taking a pulse and seeing if someone is a good collaborator? I think the very beginning interplay is where it starts. And that is, do they look you in the eye and do they shake your hand firmly? Ooh, okay. So a physical right there, physical presence. Yep. Okay. Now let’s go a little bit beyond that. What does their language look like? So it needs to be a give first language. And maybe the structure of the conversation isn’t right for them to literally give first, but they could also think about serving first. So in a lot of places, right? It’s how may I help you?

[06:51] Well, that’s a pretty common question. So what could they do to up level that question? So if it’s food, right? How can I help you? I have some favorites on the menu. Would you like to know them? Or it’s clothes, right? How can I help you? There’s a sale rack over there. You interested in that or high end stuff over here? So anything that just takes the norm and up levels at a notch, that’s the next step that I think helps them make a difference. Ooh, I love it. Okay. I’m going to interpret it because I kind of see things really strange as I am, but it’s the projecting to help solve a problem or to make their life easier versus saying, well, I’m here. What are you going to do for me? I want to use the example.

[07:43] So recently my wife was out on a walk. We were in a different city. My daughter wanted a drink, no water fountains around at all. So they walked into just a store and it wasn’t even like a restaurant, but the store had bottles of water. So my wife grabs a bottle of water, I don’t know, $1, $2, $3. She didn’t have cash. She just had a card. So of course most stores now have an iPad and all the girl did was bottle of water was on the counter. So she swiped the card, that’s it, and flips the screen around for how much of a tip are you going to give me? So my wife is not going to deal with that. And the answer was zero. And she said, I thought I was going to get murdered by her eyes. That is the, it’s all about me,

[08:37] not collaborating, not thinking about you type of mindset. Amazing. And then you add in the whole touch-free thing that everybody seems overtly focused on these days and it is causing human beings to repel other human beings, not attract them at all. And it’s so sad. And yeah, way to go to not play into that because it is a very easy, like, oh, I feel bad. So I’m going to give them a tip. That is not helping them. Exactly. So we want more collaborators. So we’ve gone through, we’re talking, looking in the eyes, a good handshake, language in a way that, hey, we’re trying to help and solve a problem. What are some other pieces that listeners can take to become more collaborative? They listen.

[09:33] What was that again? They listen. I should ask that one more time because it is that important, right? You’re correct. They listen. They shut their mouth. And thank you for teasing with us. Yes. They shut their mouth. They listen. And that’s different. And you could say, is it listening or hearing? It doesn’t matter to me which one you want to call it, but it’s not just the first step, right? It’s listen with like Stephen Covey seeking to understand. Not seeking to say the next phrase, which is very easy to do. It’s hard to become a good listener. So next on our list, we’ve got several pieces in here. Do you want to round out with anything else on this list? Cause I’ve got one that I’m gonna throw in as well.

[10:31] I’d love to hear yours and I will wrap it cause mine is more towards the end of the little cycle. Okay. So one thing I love to do when collaborating is I like to use another C word, which is connection. So what I want to do is I want to find someone and find out what their problem is. If they’re trying to solve a problem. And all of us, if we can listen well enough, there’s a problem that’s trying to get solved. And then I want to connect the dots and say, who do I know? And I may either know someone that can solve the problem or I may know of a resource. I could say, oh, you might want to check out this podcast episode, but really the amplification happens when I collaborate and I connect them with someone else

[11:20] and say, oh, wait, you’re having a problem with the state planning. Well, I know someone that can help solve that for you. And the next layer to that is be very clear in the communication, let both people know why you’re doing it. And there shouldn’t be a motivation of I’m doing this to look better. I’m doing this cause it’s benefiting me. You’re doing it because you truly want to collaborate and I promise something good will come from it. So let’s hear yours, Kim. Well, mine is the truly heartfelt thank you. And then the follow-up to that, which is you’re welcome, right? Not thank you and then no problem. My husband really bristles at that. It’s thank you and you’re welcome or much appreciation and my pleasure.

[12:17] You put the Chick-fil-A in there. They do that. My pet peeve is when they say, uh-huh. And I go, no, it’s not uh-huh, it’s you’re welcome. Cause you’re exactly right. So collaborating, it is so critically important. Here’s my end point and I’m sure you’ll have one as well, Kim. If you’re feeling stuck in your career, in your business, in your finances or whatever it may be, your secret sauce is often to go and collaborate. If you’ve got a financial conundrum that you’re trying to solve, collaborate. Get someone on there. Send an email to hello at prosperitythinkers.com and say, collaborate, help, whatever it may be. If you’ve got a problem that you’re trying to solve in your business, invite someone else to help solve it

[13:09] by solving their problem. And I imagine they’ll probably solve yours and the list can go on and on. What’s your final wrap on this, Kim? So my last comment is just to be in the space of connecting to humans. And I was walking through an airport yesterday. Smile at the people taking out the garbage, right? I mean, they’re creating a clean airport for me to walk through. I can smile. And that is just putting that gift of love, if you will, out there, giving first and knowing that that’s gonna come back. I love it. Thank you so much, Kim. Thank you for listening to the Prosperity Podcast. To take control of your money and have it work for you, visit prosperitythinkers.com.